Those Who Matter
by Summerfall
Summary: Tony may not have the best childhood, but that does not mean he is without people who matter. (A look back at the people in Tony's life who made a difference). (This story is based on the MCU, so characters also include Maria Stark, Ana Jarvis and Peggy Carter)


A.N. Advance apologies for the formatting - my ability to provide white space has given way to my head against the white wall to make it (not) happen.

Tony was 4 when he believed achievements was the way to gain his father's affection. So he built his first circuit board, using scraps from his father's discarded pile. If he found the wires and mechanics were easier to comprehend than the nuances of human interaction, he was too young to understand it. The times Howard had taken the time to talk to him were about work and Captain America's achievements, so Tony thought it was time he did something his father would be proud of… but Howard barely glanced at the complex mechanism before brushing Tony away and failing to see the heartbreak in his child's eyes or the smouldering heap in the garden the day after.

* * *

The Starks' were busy people unless you are a child, in which case you get left behind a lot. With his parents' absence, Tony found solace in the only adult who would listen to him - Jarvis. And it wasn't because it was his job, as he seemed genuinely interested in what Tony said and does, helping him with his projects. Plus it helped that he treated him like an adult, despite offering him milk and cookies.

* * *

Tony was two months shy of his seventh birthday when he built a V8 motorbike engine. Impressed and awed, Jarvis helped him put together the outer body, painting it royal blue with gold accents. On the day of his birthday, Jarvis presented him with a helmet with matching colours and allowed him to ride it in the sizable driveway on the condition it is only to be used under his watchful eye and out of sight of his father, to which Tony readily agreed.

* * *

School had never been Tony's strong suit, not because he's not intelligent but because it bored him to tears. He was mouthy and arrogant, wore his pride like an armour when the looks and whispers come his way. He's different, his mind constantly on the run while everyone menders behind. It's exhausting and lonely. So he talked to himself, to his work, to the familiar doorway as he is ushered out of his father's presence, to the bland smile on his mother's face… maybe someday, someone will talk back.

* * *

Maria Stark was not your conventional mother. Then again, the Starks are not your typical family. She's a socialite who balances out her husband's brashness and arrogance with politeness and diplomacy. And while the public was surprised by Howard's move to settle, Maria was the partner he needed to keep him steadfast. The perfect wife, a struggling mother. She at least tries, even when she least wanted to and there's no doubt she cares, asking after her son even as she wearily toes off her heels at the door. She listens but forgets, humming her response in lieu of answering questions and employed material possessions in place of emotional support.

* * *

Tony ran away from home when he was ten, having been told for the umpteenth time how useless and selfish he is by his father. A whisky bottle thrown in his general direction aided his decision. It wasn't planned and he was hardly prepared, as evidenced by his lack of shoes but that was the last thing on his mind. He was certain he would not be missed when a car pulled up next to him on the dark, empty road. The passenger door popped open.

Aunt Peggy was one of the few people that Tony respected, so he clambered into the car while she waited silently behind the wheel. Tony waited expectantly for the lecture as she drove but it never came. Instead of home, she drove to a diner where the bright lights chased away the darkness. Aunt Peggy bought a banana split for him and a cup of coffee for herself. This was not what he expected, sitting in a rag-tag diner in the middle of the night, with muddied feet and blood-shot eyes.

"Stop staring, it's unbecoming."

Tony snapped his eyes away and started slowly into his ice-cream. Half-way through, Aunt Peggy helped herself to some too.

"Aren't you going to yell at me?" Tony finally demanded.

Aunt Peggy raised an eyebrow, looking almost offended. "And what will that achieve?"

"Just tell me what I already know, that I'm a waste of time and space, that I'll never be like Captain America and that I'll amount to nothing."

Aunt Peggy finished off her spoonful before setting down her spoon and dabbing her lips with a napkin. She planted her hands before her and fixed him with a hard look. "Anthony Edward Stark, I will only say this once so listen carefully. Just because your father is an idiot, does not mean you get to be one too. He may have many problems but you are not one of them, no matter what he says. Stand up and be brilliant. If you let people continue to tell you what you are, you will not get anywhere. We need to be our own heroes and not imprints of someone else. Do I make myself clear?"

Her expression left no room for argument. "No ma'am."

"Good. Now it's quite late. Let's get you home."

Once home, Aunt Peggy left Tony is Jarvis' capable hands, turning down his proffered cup of England's finest in favour of "business to attend to", where her voice could be heard quite distinctly throughout the mansion.

"So yelling does help." Tony quipped when Aunt Peggy stepped out of her father's study an hour later.

"Only when the recipient does not listen," she replied, smoothing down her blouse and entirely unruffled.

Before she could say anything else, Tony gave a heartfelt and sincere "Thank-you, Aunt Peggy." before running off.

* * *

Lucy is a mass of black curls, sharp edges, perpetual scowls and invisible scars. She is the result of Howard's past indiscretions, a secret hidden in plain sight, a responsibility shoved onto others as a form of goodwill, for the Jarvis' had always wanted a child.

(Tony wondered if he would be in the same position if not for his mother).

He was sworn to secrecy - the family's reputation and business on the line. If it came from anyone but his mother, he was not sure he would have agreed. As it is, he was amazed he was allowed to spend part of his summer vacation with the Jarvis'.

His intentions were not entirely pure - part curiosity and part vindictiveness at finding proof to put a hole in his father's holier-than-thou image.

The Jarvis' live on a ranch (Maria Stark's family ranch to be exact), a dream of Ana's since childhood, complete with horses and stables and more green space than Tony knew what to do with. But the Jarvis' put him to good use, fixing equipment and improving the machinery. It was good to feel useful and appreciated as Ana fussed over him.

Unsurprisingly, Lucy resented his presence, going out of her way to stay out of his way. Admittedly, Tony might have laid on his Stark-ness a little thick, showing off in an effort to ensure he would not be another passerby. It never occurred to him that she would be jealous, not for being him or the fact that he's a Stark, but of his relationship with the Jarvis'.

Tony has never hit a girl before but that was before Lucy tackled him and then they were brawling in the hay and god knows what else, fists and hay flying, the horses' protests adding to the cacophony of their incoherent yells.

It ended in a splash of cold water, both literally and metaphorically, when Tony saw Jarvis' face and realised he may have failed one of the few people who cared about him.

There were bruises and scratches and what will be an impressive shiner on Tony's face. There was confusion and anger and disappointment but… "You have never and will never fail me, Tony. I know your heart and that is what matters."

Tony remained quiet, unsure if this comment would be whipped away at a moment's notice or safe to use as a balm to soothe the cracks in his heart. But Jarvis' hand on his shoulder told him this was his to keep.

There was a new calm in the air now the storm has passed. Tony wasn't sure what was said to Lucy for she was now civil and her glares had dulled around the edges.

It probably helped that Tony has stopped pushing her buttons.

Howard showed up two weeks short of his stay. Things must not have gone well at the meet for he was particularly ferocious with Tony. It was nothing he hasn't heard before, a tape played so frequently on repeat that Tony had it carved behind his eyelids. Maybe because it was the disruption to the peace that Tony had found here but he bit back, words of hurt and anger flung as weapons.

Lucy found him sitting on the barrels behind the barn, fuming at the open fields. She had a rifle slung across her back and another in her hands which she wordlessly held out to him.

Tony blinked. "Are we going to have a battle to the death?"

He was graced with an eye roll. "Don't be dramatic."

"That may be the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

"If you're going to be difficult, I've got better things to do."

He jumped off the bin with all the vitality of a 13-year-old and took the proffered weapon. She led him to the outer fields where cans lined a crooked fence before giving him a thorough drill on firearm safety and showing him the basics on operating the gun (filled with blanks of course). A quick demonstration showed off her prowess. Tony hit the fence and the air several times before he tagged his target with a satisfactory clang. He grinned.

"Not bad, kid."

"I'm only 2 years younger than you."

"Not bad, brat." She took another can down. "But brats don't deserve to be treated so poorly."

"I don't want to talk about it." A beer can blasted backward.

"That's why we're here, and why I'm probably going to have my head handed to me if we get found."

"The Jarvis'... your parents, they're cool."

There was a pause in which Tony waited for Lucy to accept the olive branch he was offering - an apology and acknowledgment.

"They are. You're welcome to borrow them once in a while, but you gotta return them at the end of the day."

Tony smirked. "Deal."

(They did get caught but Tony took full responsibility. They were let off the hook with full night duties and knowing looks.)

* * *

Having a nanny at 14 is still a sore point for Tony. Not only that, she's also a small-time thief, taking items from the household and snooping around, constantly trying to get into Howard's study to no avail.

Even worse, Tony is now stuck with her for 3 days whilst his parents visit Germany on a business trip.

He was woken up on the second night by a tapping on his window and Lucy hanging off his window ledge.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded, then "How did you get here?"

"Helping a lad in distress. Jarvis told me about your nanny troubles."

Tony groaned. This is about as flattering as it can get. "And what are you going to do about it?"

Lucy had a plan. It took the rest of the night to set it up and half of the next day snooping around and ensuring Lucy wouldn't be found ("I took a break from my friend's sleepover. They were wasting perfectly good cucumbers.")

The end result had the nanny screaming from the house, yelling something about ghosts and a haunted house.

Back inside the house, or more specifically, Howard's study, an empty television crackled merrily, an illusion still in effect. Lucy peered out from her hiding spot on the balcony, while Tony sat on the floor in his ghostly apparition get-up, a big grin on his face.

(Tony denied all knowledge of what happened as his father questioned him, claiming he was in bed and yes, his study has always been locked and no, he has not seen any ghosts, there are no such things.)

* * *

MIT came knocking and Tony received an early acceptance into one of the most prestigious schools around where his intelligence was appreciated by his peers, rather than scoffed at.

Still, he kept his guard up, learning from an early age that appearances are deceiving, The Stark name carried a certain grandeur and value, and with it jealousy and those who seek to use it for their own gain. In some ways, high school was much easier to manage.

So he kept up an easy facade of sarcasm and humour, building his charisma and charm. He partied (and drank where he could) and still passed everything with flying colours.

* * *

Honestly, he should have learned by now that his confidence will get him into trouble. Being the youngest and the smartest can rub people the wrong way, especially for those who enjoy are certain stature.

He had been attempting to keep his drinking to a minimum by keeping busy but there was only so much he can do before the emptiness around him spurs him out, lest he even tries to call home.

The local watering hole was never short of people and before he could change his mind, Tony was enveloped in a group that he pretty sure despised him. But it seems alcohol changes much of that as they pushed more and more drinks onto him until he started agreeing to the most obscene things like making a cocktail explosion.

If he weren't so drunk, he would have felt the solid presence behind his back before the voice spoke. And even then, it was like a delayed transmission to his brain as he struggled to stop the room spinning.

"Kid, are you alright? Are these guys bothering you?"

"Not a kid," Tony mumbled.

"If you're here visiting someone, I can take you to them."

Tony shook his head which was a very bad, not good idea.

"Dude, relax, he's with us." one of the guys laughed.

"He shouldn't be here."

The voice grew louder. "You want to know who shouldn't be here? You and your kind."

"Hey, back off!" It took a moment for Tony to realise that those words came from him and he was suddenly standing, but the ground refused to stay still.

(Decades later, during his best man's speech, Rhodey will fondly recall the moment that a very drunk Tony knocked himself out in an attempt to defend him. But the way Tony remembers it, was that Rhodey had his back first.)

* * *

It seemed like the unlikeliest of friendships - the straight-laced duty-bound future colonel, with a smart-ass, crazy, rich playboy. But Rhodey never judged, he took Tony the way he is and went with it, occasionally steering him back in the relatively right direction.

And Tony found, between Rhodey and Lucy, school was actually quite enjoyable, if not for educational purposes.

Rhodey and Lucy's initial meeting was far from ideal.

Living only an inconvenient 10 minutes away from Tony at Tufts University, Lucy became Tony's unofficial designated driver by default, on the condition that nights like this only occurs once a month.

So after one of those nights in which Tony managed to convince Rhodey to take a break after midterms, Tony woke up to his head being blown apart by the scream of death. Apparently, opera is a very good form of torture.

"Turn it off! Turn it off!"

By the time the request was heeded, Tony was sure blood was leaking from his ears.

"It's not, but given how I might not even pass my exam at this point, I may not be the best person to ask."

How passive aggressive, Tony thought.

"You know you're speaking out loud right? And I have full control of the music."

Tony groaned, peeling one gummy eye open to see Lucy sitting cross-legged on the bed, chewing lazily upon a Twizzler. "Goose, have mercy."

"Is this going to be a thing now? Having your honey bear tag along?"

"I'm not his honey bear," Rhodey mumbled from beside him.

"I've got photographic evidence." she sounded entirely too gleeful for Tony's liking as she waved said evidence before him. Closer inspection of the Polaroid revealed him and Rhody entwined with one another on their current mattress.

"Looks like she's outed us, honey buns."

"I hate you." Rhodey groaned. "And I don't know you but I hate you too."

"Now that's what you call gratitude." She grabbed her bag from the other side of the bed. "You guys better hope I pass this exam or this picture is going public."

She nudged Tony with her foot on her way out. "Water and aspirin are on the bedside table and you better be gone before I get back. Apparently, I'm getting enough action on the rumour mill without adding another person to the mix."

"Help me out here, I'm not sure whether I should be disgusted or pleased for you."

The answering slam of the door was unnecessarily ferocious.

"You have the most wonderful friends, Stark." Rhodey commented.

"Don't be jealous. You're still my favourite, platypus."

* * *

Tony unveiled DUM-EE at the MIT Robot Design competition, his first limited-awareness artificial intelligent robot with the personality of a gambolling puppy, eager to help but damned if it does.

It almost strangles Rhodey in its attempt to help him with his tie and ends up spilling white wine on Lucy in its enthusiasm to get her drinks.

"It's fine, I've had worse things spilt on me before," Lucy said as she wiped herself down. "Besides, it was just trying to help."

She blinked as DUM-EE's singular claw wrapped around her wrist and tugged it up and down. "What's it doing?"

"DUM-EE's saying thank-you." Tony translated.

"Aw, you're cute." Lucy patted the robot.

"Hey, no, it's not meant to be cute." Tony intervened.

"Especially after it tried to kill me," Rhodey added.

Lucy rolled her eyes. "Drama king."

Almost everyone showed up, including Jarvis and Ana. Everyone that is except his parents. Tony really shouldn't have expected any less, but it still stung, the childish part of him hoping to hear some sort of approval. He brushed away the tightness in his chest and focussed on the people there with him.

He won first place and he tried to feel happy about it.

* * *

"Build something of value before asking me to waste my time." was his father's response when Tony had the very bad idea to call home.

He then proceeded with an even worse idea of mixing alcohol with sleeping tablets, and the next thing he remembered was waking up to the steady beeping of a machine and a red-eyed Lucy, looking both relieved and extremely pissed off.

"Have you been crying?" he asked, only it came out as more of a croak.

She did a quick preliminary check before being satisfied enough to say, "You are a complete shithead. Try that stunt again and I will kill you myself."

Tony wanted to point out that the point of being a doctor is not to kill people, but Lucy had already stormed out.

"I ditto what she said," Rhodey spoke from his spot in the corner, looking tired.

"Not fair." Tony pouted, "I'm sick and need looking after, not to be ganged up on."

"She's a spitfire that one. No way will I be getting on her bad side. Almost came to blows with your old man."

Tony was about to make a joke when the rest of the sentence registered, "Wait, what with my father?"

"Dropped some truth bombs." Rhody looked sombre. "Not really my place to talk about it. Best to talk to her."

"I'll get it out of you eventually."

Rhodey got up and stretched, eyeing the doorway where a nurse is being waylaid by Jarvis. "Looks like visiting hour is over for us. You going to be okay, Tones?"

"I'll be fine."

Rhodey looked sceptical but clapped Tony on the shoulder, "Let me know if you need anything."

Jarvis came in after Rhodey's departure, eyes sad as he took Tony in, straightening the cover out of habit as he took the seat next to him. "You gave everyone quite a scare."

"Obviously, not everyone."

Jarvis acknowledged that comment with a tilt of his head. "Your father was here while you were asleep but something unexpected came up."

"Lucy."

"Among other things."

"I'm sorry, Jarvis." Tony was not one to apologise easily or at all, having been told that it was a weakness by his father. But with Jarvis, he has lost count of the number of times he has apologised and yet, it always seems inadequate.

And without fail, Jarvis responds the same way, "You are forgiven, Master Tony." and the shame in Tony deepens all the more.

"Just promise me you will cease this unhealthy behaviour. You will do well to remember that you have those who care about your well-being."

"I know, Jarvis. I'll try."

Jarvis smiled kindly, "That's all I ask."

* * *

It seems the Stark men are not known for their timing. By the time Tony has completely stopped caring for what his father thought of him, Howard was trying to reach out to him, claiming there are things Tony needs to know, needs to be shown but Tony hardly cared for any of that now. It's easier not to care than to open himself up to ridicule again. Never let people see how you really feel, wasn't that another life lesson Howard imparted to him?

"You must hate him," Tony stated.

It was Thanksgiving. Lucy had invited both him and Rhodey to the Jarvis' where they had finished off an interesting Hungarian feast made by Ana and now sat around a bonfire, drinking hot chocolate and roasting marshmallows.

It was nice and homely and Tony wished this was how home is.

Lucy glanced in the direction Rhodey had gone to retrieve more refreshments. He may know about the family secret but it's not something she is comfortable talking about, even to Tony.

"I don't actually. To be honest, I'm pretty indifferent to him bar a couple of things."

"He abandoned you." Tony pointed out.

"He did, and I think we can all agree it was a shitty thing to do, but look at what I received instead," she gestured towards the house where they can see Jarvis and Ana dancing in the living room, unaware of their audience.

"I'm not a fan of his work and I hate the way he treats you," she absently picks at the grass at her feet. "But Jarvis has always said that family is what you choose it to be, so you know…" she gave an offhand shrug.

Tony gave a sly smile. "Careful Goose, it almost sounds like you care."

"I will Nerf you in the ass."

"I'll sic Rhodey on you."

"I'm not your bodyguard." Rhodey retorted, settling himself down with a pack of drinks.

"Then why do I have you around?"

"Shouldn't I be asking that question?"

"You're a glutton for punishment, we both are." Lucy shook her head sadly.

"Here, here." Rhodey's bottle met hers with a clink of solidarity.

"Jarvis, I'm being ganged up on!" Tony protested, as his friends sniggered next to him.

Maria Stark was not unobservant to the divide between the two most important people in her life. The problem is she doesn't know how to resolve it other than being the buffer; to keep the fire from spreading too widely. Tony appreciated the efforts, futile as they may be and he hated how to seem to hurt her.

"Talk to him," she requested one day, eyes pleading in an attempt to salvage whatever moment they have left of Christmas, and Tony wished it was something as simple as him taking the first step… but it was always him and he was tired of being burnt.

"Have a good trip," he said instead. "Love you, mum."

Maria smiled sadly at him, pressing a smile to his cheek as he turned away to avoid the look of disappointment in her eyes.

Afterward, he only wished he walked through the fire instead.

* * *

He doesn't remember much of the funeral, just a blur of white noises and touches from acquaintances and strangers. Rhodey was deployed somewhere (despite his best efforts to get back) and Lucy couldn't attend for obvious reasons. Jarvis and Ana hovered close by and it was their presence which grounded him.

Lucy snuck into his room during the wake, where Tony had already retired to his bed, the tie long discarded, the buzz in his head refusing to go away. She laid down beside him, hands wrapped around his wrist. They watched the sun's ray crawl across the ceiling until the darkness swallowed it whole and the noises faded away.

* * *

Tragedy followed in quick succession when Ana's health took a turn for the worst and passed away shortly after. Jarvis followed in her wake. The doctors said it was old age, but those who know Jarvis, understood it was from a broken heart.

The funeral was small and intimate, rather than crawling with corporate friends. Many were unsure how to approach Lucy, who is an unknown in their mind - present but unaccounted for. Instead, they offered their condolences to Tony, whose grief was hidden behind sunglasses and dulled by his hangover.

He was unsure how to offer comfort the way Lucy had to him - what does he say? What does he do? Why does he feel so inadequate? He drinks as he ponders each question until everything blurs away and the action becomes routine. There were missed calls and unopened letters and knocks on the door that goes unanswered.

That was until the day he was rudely woken up by a rush of ice water. By the time he had finished spluttering his indignation, a garbage bag was thrust into his face by a very unimpressed Peggy Carter.

Bags of accumulated bottles and cans were thrown out, surfaces wiped clean and the windows thrown open, chasing away the stench of a month's worth of self-pity. By the time he stepped out of the shower, Tony was feeling somewhat human.

The strangest vision hit him when he followed his nose to the kitchen and found Aunt Peggy, regal and intimidating as ever in her older years, cooking him a full English breakfast.

"Stop gaping and eat."

And eat he did. Tony was famished as he unashamedly polished off the contents of the plate in record time, no doubt demonstrating his ability as an adult to look after himself.

Silence descended when he settled his cutlery, waiting for the lecture that was sure to come. But Aunt Peggy continued to sip her coffee as she perused the morning's paper.

With a sense of deja vu and feeling very much twelve again, Tony said, "Aren't you going to yell at me?"

"Would it help?" she turned a page. For all his mouthiness, Tony just shrugged.

"You know what is wrong with the picture here. This is to ensure you start fixing it." she levelled him with a firm but kind gaze. "Grief should enhance your purpose, not dull it. Now, you would be glad to hear that short of kicking your door in, purely due to the distance I suspect, Colonel Rhodes has successfully filled your answering machine to capacity with some rather colourful messages. There are also some earlier letters from him, accompanied by some rather crude drawings, courtesy of Dr Ogden."

Tony's spirits lifted for the first time in a month, which must have shown on his face for Aunt Peggy said, "You are not without people who care about you, Anthony. It is not something to be taken lightly."

"And before you ask," Aunt Peggy went on. "Your privacy was invaded for security reasons. Your father made many enemies and they would find this an opportune moment not to be missed."

"Actually, I was going to ask how you knew about Lucy,"

"I worked closely with your father for many years. Mr. Jarvis too, who was my 'sidekick' for a while. His words, not mine." she added unnecessarily with a small smile. "He was my confidante and I his. So yes, I know about Lucy."

Shame welled up in Tony as it occurred to him that he wasn't the only person to have lost someone he cared for.

"All is not lost, Anthony. If you want to prove your father wrong, make your own mistakes, don't tread in his footsteps. Stop living like a Neanderthal, mend your bridges, and use that intelligence under all that belligerence."

* * *

Admittedly, Tony still had a lot to learn about mending bridges. Calling was a lot harder than apology gifts. Same with home visits. He just can't seem to make that reach. Shame and fear continued to tighten his chest.

The decision was taken out of his hand when he received a phone call from Metro-General hospital. He arrived in a daze, positive that he had broken half a dozen traffic laws but uncaring in the least.

He was directed to a room where he was pulled up short by Rhodey's presence, looking calm and collected. Approaching footsteps preceded a harried-looking Lucy, who took one look at the occupants of the room (eyes resting on Tony for a moment longer), glanced back down at the pager in her hand and asked, "How the hell is this a 911?"

Rhodey crossed the room and locked the door with a click. When he turned around, he had pulled himself to his full height and even without his dress uniform, his stance commanded authority and respect. It was impressive, if not at all imposing.

"You two are going to be quiet and let me talk because this has gone on for long enough."

Lucy groaned. "I really don't need another lecture."

At Rhodey's look, she sighed, lifted both hands in surrender and leaned back against the wall.

"I don't know if this is a Stark family trait but you two should know better. You," he pointed at Lucy, "need to stop running away. And you," he turned to Tony, "need to stop throwing money at problems to make them disappear. You two need to talk and we're not leaving here until you do because as emotionally stunted as you guys are, I'm not going to sit by and let this crash and burn."

Tony was scrutinising Rhodey in what he thought was a subtle way, "You're mad at me," and the fact that he seemed resigned like it proved him right, made Rhodey's chest hurt, even if he was pissed off. But he had to remind himself that Tony had spent his short life being proven he was a disappointment to the person who mattered the most to him and expected everyone to do the same.

"I'm upset," he acknowledged and Tony nodded expectantly, "because you expect me to walk away and not care as if our friendship doesn't matter. You're an ass but you're my ass and that won't stop me from punching your face if you make a flippant remark right now because I don't need it. You've made your feelings about me clear but I'll be damned if you two sink too."

It was more than he expected to say but at least it's out in the open. At least it won't be a complete waste of his requested leave of duty.

"It does matter, Rhodey. Our friendship," Tony clarified, hesitant and uncertain. "I'm just not so good with the whole - " he gestured aimlessly.

"They're called feelings, Tony." Rhodey supplied, amused despite himself.

Tony made a face. "Is that what it is? Yuck."

"Glad to see age hasn't affected your maturity."

"I'm a dick and that probably won't change but I'll try to do better," Tony promised.

"That's all I ask."

A shrill beep interrupted the moment and they both turned to Lucy, who glanced at her pager before pocketing it. Somewhere between Tony and Rhodey's heart to heart, she had deposited herself on the floor, cross-legged.

"Goose?"

She shook her head even as she avoided his gaze, "No, you don't get to call me that anymore."

"I tried to get in touch with you." Tony thought of the time he hovered outside her apartment building, working up the courage to knock.

"She went AWOL." Rhodey provided, tone non-accusatory, just a simple fact.

"I was travelling." Lucy snapped. "Whose side are you on?"

"Just trying to mend bridges here," Rhodey said calmly.

"You can only mend something if it was there to begin with."

Ouch.

Glances were exchanged between the guys and Lucy's ire grew to expand the hurt in her heart, the one she refused to acknowledge as she traversed unknown terrains in an effort to escape what she thought she knew. And as much of a genius as Tony is, it occurred to him he knew nothing at all if he only just realised what must have been going through Lucy's mind. He crouched down before her.

"I'm sorry Luce, I didn't mean to leave you. I just didn't know how to help you the way you helped me." I didn't want to leave a damaged boy for you to look after.

There was a sniffle, "Goddamnit, Tony, I just needed you by my side. Not your money or your status, just you." Her eyes were wet as she finally looked at him. "But you weren't there even when I reached out. So yeah, I ran because it's easier than being unwanted. And now you're making me cry and you just really suck."

Tony reached out tentatively to grasp her wrist, the way she use to comfort him. "I know I do and I know it's a bit late to say this but you're not unwanted. I'm here if you're crazy enough to want me around and I promise I won't leave, no matter how annoying you are."

A wet laugh escapes Lucy. "I'll hold you to that."

(Later, Lucy would drag herself back to her shoebox apartment, eyes blurred with exhaustion and proceeded to throw herself onto the couch, only to scream with terror at the bodies that were already on there, as well as the box of cold pizza. The next morning found Tony and Rhodey with bright pink toenails - a sign their relationship has returned to normal.)


End file.
